After the Storm Comes the Rainbow

So here is a (rather lengthy) update of our pregnancy and situation as of now.  Jonathan and I found out we were expecting again at the beginning of the year.  The emotions have been overwhelming as we were both excited but also terrified.  The thought of losing another child was almost too much to bear and so we were "cautiously optimistic".  Jonathan did not want to tell anyone we were expecting until we were on our way to the hospital.  Yeah, that wasn't happening but we did wait a lot longer than usual to tell even our families of our news.  My first appointment was in early February and I found out my due date is September 5.  I found it ironic/interesting/fitting that the date plastered all over my paperwork that they use to determine my due date (my LMP) was November 29.  Matthew's due date.  Just found that significant for whatever reason.

At my first appointment they did all the regular blood work and exams and then I met with Dr. Mathis, who I began seeing when we delivered Matthew.  She and I went over again what all had happened with Matthew and she went over all her notes again.  Unfortunately, they had no explanation for his death.  His autopsy report showed he was perfectly healthy and normal and the only abnormal thing they had found with me was a small blood clot near the placenta.  They had no way of knowing if this had caused his death or if it showed up after his death during the labor and delivery.  After reviewing everything one more time, Dr. Mathis decided to go on a hunch and order some more blood work done to test for a few other things.  So I got to have even more blood drawn that day and was shocked to find I had any left when all was said and done.

A few days later Dr. Mathis called me with the results--her hunch had been right and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called antiphospholipid syndrome.  Through her information and my own research, I learned that APS causes me to be more prone to developing blood clots.  It can be inherited but it can also develop during your lifetime as you get older, which I think is the case with me since I had two completely normal pregnancies before Matthew.  Most people never even know they have APS unless they get blood work or the APS causes something to happen.  There were a handful of things listed as examples of things APS causes and one of them was an unexplained late miscarriage.  Bingo!  I think we finally have our answer as to what happened with Matthew.  For me there was a lot emotionally to deal with as I learned that not only do I have this strange (to me) disorder but it was my body that caused my son to die.  It was a blood clot that my body caused that literally cut off his life supply.  I also had to deal with the other side of that thought process.  What if Matthew hadn't died and I still went through life not knowing about this disorder until one of the other things it causes happened?  And instead of developing a blood clot in my placenta, I developed one in my heart, brain, or lungs?  What if Matthew's death saved my life?  So yes, these are the things I had to deal with and work through early on in this pregnancy.  I must say it was a relief to know what had happened and to know that we could do something to hopefully prevent it from happening again.  Because had Dr. Mathis not gone with her gut instinct and tested for APS, we very well could have lost another baby.

On Valentine's Day I got to meet with a nurse and learn how to give myself injections.  I was prescribed the generic medication for Lovenox which I inject into my abdomen every 12 hours.  I am also on a low dose aspirin in the hopes that with these medications my blood will be thinned enough as to not cause another clot.  The injections started out rough and included lots of bruising and bleeding but now I've got the hang of it and am about halfway to my total of 400 injections that I will have to give myself throughout the pregnancy.  Woohoo!

I am currently seeing Dr. Mathis, my OB, every four weeks and have also started seeing an MFM (maternal fetal medicine) specialist every four weeks.  So I am being seen by a doctor every two weeks, which is reassuring to me.  The MFM specialist is doing an ultrasound at every appointment to check the baby's growth and development.  With APS, I am still at a high risk for miscarriage/stillbirth and the baby has a higher risk of being underdeveloped.  I have had two ultrasounds with the MFM specialist so far, though, and both times baby's growth has been right on track and even a little above average, which is great.  Because of the risk of stillbirth, I will not be going the full 40 weeks.  Around 36 or 37 weeks (probably closer to 36 if baby continues to grow so well) they will do an amniocentesis to determine if baby's lungs are fully developed.  The results will take 24 hours to get and as soon as they get the clear that the lungs are ready, I will be induced that day or the next.  So we are looking at having our baby in about three months from now!  Yikes!  So much to do and get ready before then!

If you haven't noticed from my wording, we are planning to be surprised with this baby's gender.  We found out beforehand with Luke and Addison and thought it would be fun to not find out this time.  However, we made this decision before learning how many ultrasounds I would be having!  Everyone so far who has done the ultrasounds has been really good about not letting any gender specific words slip but it's going to be really hard not to give in and find out at all these appointments!

So, yeah, that is what's going on.  It's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least but we are really getting excited to meet this baby.  The kids are beyond thrilled and Luke has even prayed and asked God to please let this baby come live with us first before going to heaven.  I will be 23 weeks tomorrow so only about 13 more weeks to go!  We are praying and trusting God that He will bless this baby and pregnancy.  Even though the risks are still high, we know that we serve a God who is more powerful than any diagnosis or statistic.  Thank you all for your prayers on behalf of us and our little rainbow baby!